3 ways that kinky sex can fire up your love life
Experiencing a bit of bedroom boredom? It happens to most couples who’ve been together a while, but it doesn’t mean you need to make do with missionary-style. The imaginative bedroom moves below can spice up your love life and inject much-needed excitement into your relationship.
1. Experiment with role-play.
Whether you dream of being a sexy nurse, a strapping naval officer or a dominatrix, role-playing can add some serious fun – and sexiness – to your bedroom routine. Get it right by chatting to your partner about the fantasies that get you all steamed up, and agree on a few you’d like to try. It might feel awkward or cheesy at first, but don’t give up: when your fantasies comes to life, the results can be explosive!
2. Play with your toys.
With your partner, visit an adult shop or browse sex toys online and choose a few to try. Because of the extra stimulation they provide, sex toys can intensify orgasms for both partners, and they’ll help you to get to know your body, and your partner’s body, better. They can also help you to explore fantasies like bondage or double penetration. Just make sure you clean them thoroughly before and after every use, and don’t share sex toys between different partners at the same time, or you risk the spread of STIs.
3. Talk dirty.
If it seems a little awkward at first, start by asking your partner what they want you to do to them. It also gives you an idea of how naughty he or she is willing to be. Start slowly by saying things like, “You’re an amazing kisser” or “You have such sexy arms”, and then increase the kink-factor by telling them exactly what you want them to do with their mouth, fingers or genitals. Don’t over-think it – just go with the flow and say what’s on your mind!
Keeping kinky sex safe
Always remember that when it comes to shaking up your sex life, you need to be open and honest with your partner, and create a safe space in which you can both share your desires and dislikes. Both partners must be comfortable with experimenting, and no one should ever feel forced to do something they don’t want to do. If you feel disrespected or abused by your partner in any way, leave. Get help or learn more about 16 Days of Activism against gender-based violence here.
You can also contact Marie Stopes for advice, counselling or guidance in a confidential and safe environment, or get tested for STIs or HIV at any of our branches across South Africa.