First time sex is fun and unforgettable. It can also be strange and awkward, so think about the kind of person you want to share the experience with. Having a caring, considerate and sensitive partner who respects your wishes – and being the same kind of partner in return – is key to creating a first time experience you won’t regret. This is something we absolutely love about Bongi and Coalstove’s relationship.
Losing your virginity or having sex with a new partner for the first time is a big step and we totally get why Bongi wants to take it slow.
Here’s a checklist that will help you figure out if you should have sex for the first time:
- Thinking about it makes you excited, not filled with fear or anxiety (a little nervousness is okay, but it should be nervous excitement, not dread).
- You’re ready to do it stone-cold sober (i.e., you don’t need to be drunk to get it on).
- You trust your partner.
- You are comfortable enough to talk to your partner about what you do or don’t want to do in bed.
- You are well-prepared and informed about protecting yourself against HIV, STIs and unplanned pregnancy, and you know what methods you’ll use to ensure that you have safe, healthy sex.
- If either of you is not a virgin, you’ve been recently screened for HIV and STIs.
- Most importantly: You want to – it feels right!
If you are comfortable with your partner, you trust them, and you are excited at the thought of having sex with them, then go for it! Make sure you have planned what protection you’ll use to stay safe.
Very important: Take a page out of DJ Coalstove’s book and get CONSENT every time you have sex. If a person says they want to have sex with you, great! Go ahead and have sex with them. If a person says they don’t want to have sex (or any other kind of sexual activity) with you, or if they’re unconscious, or if they’re unsure, they have not given consent and you must not have sex with them.